If you’re French, then you’re probably not reading this, because you got tired of me mocking your country, military, hygeine, and obsession with having multiple sauces on everything you eat. But if you’re one of those French people who masochistically endures all these slights just for the scathing caress of my hurculean wit, then you’re in for a treat.

The legendary Hotel Royal Monceau in Paris is being demolished piece by piece, and you’re invited! Go to their demolition party, and break apart a historical landmark with hammers.

You know, if you can lift one.

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Widge sent me this with the message “Dude. This is the Siegest post in the history of Siege posts.” It’s good to know that people look out for weird crap for me to post, and even better to know that I’ve become an adjective.

We (almost) all love beastflesh, and eating things with a face is always good. But This place has taken it one step further. Food with a face, meet food that is a face. With the simple addition of not only a face, but a clown face, you can attack your cold cuts with that much more fervor.

Great idea? Or Greatest idea?

Babies tend to cry in my presence. Believe it or not, this is not something I have worked toward. There’s just something about me that babies find offensive or frightening. So it makes me feel slightly better that Tokyo holds an anual competition in which sumo wrestlers scare babies into crying “to stregnthen their spirit.” The baby who cries the loudest wins. I shit thee not.

Want proof? Here’s the story.

Want more? Here’s the photo gallery.

What do you do when you have a problem with vandals? The same thing the Romans did when they had a problem with Vandals. Or Visigoths. Or Franks. Build something huge to launch something gross at them.

Article Here

This is my kind.

You’d never know it from looking at me or talking to me, but I’m actually very well read. From early insightful works of philosophy such as Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, which would later inspire the Wachowski brothers, to the later crap which is still considered classical despite the festering pile of excrement that it is such as Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray, which would later inspire my literary gag reflex.

I like books, and thus enjoy libraries. Perhaps not as much as Dindrane, whom this page was probably created for.

Hot library smut

When I heard of this, I made the mistake of searching for ‘library porn’ on google. I’m a wise one.

As a psychologist, I have to admit to a certain advantage to promoting psychological scarring over a good punch in the face. In 20 years, who will remember all the times they’ve been punched in the face?

But this leaves a special kind of mark.

Walk down the street carrying one of these, and not only will you be prepared, but everyone who sees you will know you’re not afraid of anything.

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This combines several of my favorite things in the world. Firearms, beastflesh, culinary arts, and being lazy all come together with the ability to shoot something, and season it, at the same time. Sweet.

Tragic and yet mildly hilarious accident? Or Greatest steak delivery service ever?

You decide.

I salute this couple as fellow sufferers of bizarre happenstance. It’s as though God himself was blessing their one year anniversary with an offering of beastflesh.