For that special someone
Thursday December 28th 2006, 3:34 am
Filed under: Random bits of cheese

This is one of those out-of-the-blue shorts that SNL surprises us with. Somehow made more believable by Orlando Bloom. Or Justing Timberlake. Whoever the hell that is. Warning- if you’re easily offended, or related to my girlfriend in any way, do not- I repeat- do not click below.

You did it anyway, didn’t you? Well don’t worry. Two little words will put your mind at ease-

Paper. Cuts.

That is all.



the art of gluttony
Wednesday December 27th 2006, 2:08 pm
Filed under: Random bits of cheese

And before you ask, yes, I’ve made an art form out of the other six as well. Wrath is my personal favorite. But this is a play by play of my dinner last night at Ruby Tuesday, where I ordered the Colossal burger.

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This thing comes with a steak knife stuck straight down the center. Some say this is to keep it together. I say they put it in so you know it’s dead. Because the use so much of the cow, a skilled veterenarian could still save it.

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So I tore into a couple half-pound patties as Robert monitored my progress with his camera phone (Here’s his place. Go have a visit and break some furniture). This is me realizing that I forgot to chew that last bite. The waitresses behind me are betting on whether or not I will keel over before I’m done.

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This is where my ability to dislocate my jaw comes in handy. This is about where I reached critical mass. If I compressed the burger any further from my Allosaurus bites, I would have to start converting mass to energy, and I didn’t have a particle accelerator handy, so I had to finish up quick.

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That puddle of grease on the left is what fell from the burger like rain off the roof. I asked Robert to stack some sugar packets under the opposite side of the plate so that the grease would pool, and not soak my fries.

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Finish line. As I cleanse my palate with the remainder of my Coke, one waitress owed another some money, and I finished off my garlic bread and decided against desert.

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“The show’s over. Why are you still taking pictures of me? Freak.”



Maybe if we hide it, it won’t have happened!
Thursday December 14th 2006, 8:46 am
Filed under: Random bits of cheese,Stains of Glee

Some people are worried that we are taking the field of artificial intelligence too far. And that the scenario put forth by the Terminator movies is close at hand. Keep in mind, these are the people who look at the roomba and tremble.

This is the closest thing we have to the mighty Terminator.


Via: VideoSift

I’m not worried.



Disdain for economics
Tuesday December 12th 2006, 10:29 am
Filed under: General Skullduggery,Random bits of cheese,Stains of Glee

Normal people might use scissors to destroy a check card which is expired and has been replaced.

I use throwing knives, shuriken, and two more people to throw them. Hee.



On Dealing with mundane probelms in an extreme fashion
Friday December 08th 2006, 11:36 am
Filed under: Random bits of cheese

It’s the last biopsychology class of the semester. It’s boring. What does one do to make things more exiting?

Releasing a herd of puppies in the building is apparently a good start.



At last…
Thursday December 07th 2006, 4:20 am
Filed under: Links for the Glum,Random bits of cheese

People like me are being thought of when they design things like this.

Too bad it still looks like a man-purse.



Home cooked
Sunday December 03rd 2006, 4:45 am
Filed under: Random bits of cheese

I just managed to bake tortilla dough into my flesh.

Flaky.