It takes a special kind of person to track serial killers. This is because in order to know how a serial killer thinks, you have to think like them. You have to see things as they see them, know what they know, and want what they want.

I’m writing my thesis on the minds of serial killers.

I live on a college campus.

I am an urban legend waiting to happen.

Halloween’s Top 10 Scariest Creatures.

Okay, having a pathological lack of fear, I can’t really see it. That being said, in my life I’ve seen things I can only describe as zombies and vampires. But Jack-o-Lanterns? It’s nowhere close to a creature. They can’t even stand up to stupid middle-schoolers who think they’re being rebellious because they dare to smash a glowing fruit.

Jack-o-Lanterns are pansies.

For something that is fairly inert for about 23 hours a day, pandas are certainly jumpy.

I was at the Dollar Tree searching for props for Alice in Wonderland, and saw that they sell pregnency tests.

For a dollar.

Really now.

This is one of my favorite things Family Guy has ever done. Most know my proclivities towards the FCC, but for those who don’t, it basically boils down to this: If you think Seseme Street is harmful to children, it’s time to end your comission.

That’s why I love this video. Also, it’s Family Guy.

And if you’re not familiar with Family Guy, it’s time to step away from the Dungeons and Dragons playset.