Oil, bullwhips, Martha Stewart, and children…
Wednesday July 12th 2006, 10:01 am
Filed under: My shit luck with all things,Random bits of cheese

… oh, and golf as well. Thus has been my morning.

I went to the Ford dealership to get an oil change, and it took quite a while. Before it was taken to the garage, however, interesting things had to happen. Because I can’t even get a vehicle serviced without looking like someone you wouldn’t want to housesit. The serviceman opened the door, and a bullwhip fell out at his feet. Yes, I have a bullwhip. Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not what you think. Did I explain to him that I’m not an S&M freak? Of course not. I said, “You’d best ignore that.” and continued to the ‘customer’s lounge’.

There I spent the next two hours sitting next to a four-year-old who sat there tying knots in the drawstrings of his shorts, guaranteeing the use of a blade to remove them, while watching Martha Stewart on the convenient TV (“It’s a good idea to hang a sheet set on a pullstring above the bars of your cell door. That way, the guards won’t be witness to your activities with your cellmate. And that’s a good thing.”)

The only reading material available were Ford pamphlets, and a golf magazine. I read the pamphlets first. It took five minutes. And I’m not fond of golf.

So, what can you do with small children, some golf balls, a whip, and Martha Stewart? Well, among other things, you can visit a Ford dealership.

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