Filed under: Random bits of cheese
I often find myself sitting up at night wondering what life has in store for me. It’s nothing special, most people do. But most people sit up wondering if they’re going to get that job they want, or if they will ever meet that special someone. As for me, I sit up wondering where I got that scar I hadn’t noticed before, or whether or not I’m going to be hit by a truck again tomorrow. See, if you look up the term “bad luck” in the dictionary, you’ll not only see my picture, but if you look really hard, you can make out the meteor speeding towards my head in the background.
My life has been a timeline of strange. A perfect testament to my luck is the fact that I am writing this first post in a hotel room. This is because the apartment above mine in my college dormitory had a very small stove fire that was just enough to set off the building’s chemical industrial grade sprinkler system. As the alarms blared, and the ceiling started to cave in around us, my roommate and I couldn’t help but notice that it was us who were getting the worst of it. And so our luck washed down the drain at about 30 gallons per second, and everything we own is now damp, and smells like ass.
This is the kind of thing I consider when I sit up enjoying all that insomnia has to offer. Some people may take stock of all the things that I’ve managed to get myself into in 21 years, and wonder as to the nature of God’s benevolence. But I don’t worry. My relationship with God is very well defined. To me, God is like the little brother who constantly hovers half an inch away from your face saying “I’m not touching you…. I’m not touching you….”
So check back here every now and then. You’ll feel better when you lie awake at night knowing that somewhere in a hotel room, or a jail cell, or a ditch just off the highway somewhere near Tuscaloosa, I am lying wondering what ever happened to that squirrel I found in my desk drawer once…
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