This is about how most of my relationships have wound up.
It’s odd how so many obscure internet videos ring true to my life. Thanks to Widge for the depressing reminder.
I punched an owl once, and that makes me wise.
So you can believe me when I say that life is a turd that we must all occasionally rub in our hair. And it stinks every time. That’s why you keep your hair cropped short like I do. So clean up is a breeze.
Point is that life stinks sometimes. The key is to prepare yourself for it before a crisis ever strikes. This doesn’t mean that you’ll be able to avoid it at all, but the recovery process is much easier when you’re prepared.
This brief moment of semi-seriousness is brought to you by Murder Bunny.
If you get the reference, more power to you. If you don’t, then it’s just a bunch of puppies.
Not that there’s anything wrong with a bunch of puppies.
Has to be PETA.
HAS to be.
Fire. It’s one of my favorite things. Bacon. It’s another one of my favorite things. When you put the two together, you get nice crispy fried bacon. And that’s one of the best things of all.
But wait… there’s more…
Someone has created what could possible be the greatest invention of all time. Better than the wheel, sliced bread, the Antikythera mechanism, or even the steak toaster.
Imagine cooking bacon, with fire. Fire that is POWERED BY bacon. The same Bacon you’re cooking! Now collapse in a puddle of your own drool, and Behold!
This is one of those days when all of the sleep deprivation from the past several weeks catches up with me at once.
For those lucky insomniacs like me who work the graveyard shift, a good night’s sleep is reminiscent of a psycho ex-girlfriend. You do your best to avoid it for the good of everyone involved, but every once in a while, it comes back to bite you in the ass.
The downside of the graveyard shift is that the rest of the world works on some kind of diurnal schedule. This can create some situations that may seem odd from the outside. For instance, this morning I was drinking milk, while driving home from work. How many people drink milk in the car?
Not many. Now I go to crawl under something for the rest of the day.
Kidding. Kind of. I realize that I mention porn on here more than I should, what with my girlfriend’s father reading it and all, but we can all appreciate this.
It’s PG Porn. The self-proclaimed porn that’s “for those who love everything about porn, except the sex.”
This one is funny as hell. Widge sent it to me knowing that it would spark my interest, and I’ll support damn near anything that gives Nathan Fillion a check. They also get points for authenticity. I had to look up the girl, and she’s the real thing. Probably shouldn’t have though. Running a spyware check now…
The great American spirit has been displayed once more through artwork. This time it’s Joseph Griffith depicting America’s victory over all things. Also a triceratops. But it’s George Washington riding a triceratops, so it’s still American.
Geekologie passes on a work of art worthy of all lovers of beastflesh. Specifically, the most celebrated and versatile item of beastfleshery. That’s right, I am of course speaking of Bacon. And here it is- the Bacon-Making-And-Eating Flowchart!
Mac has created it’s best application yet. It’s a ballistics program that allows you to calculate range, windage, gravity, elevation and weather. How is this any different from any number of similar programs? This one downloads to your iPod. It fits a secure case that clamps to the rifle, and has the same calculating power as one of the military models.
I’m still not sure how I feel about this. I took forever to get on the iPod train, and that was only with a shuffle, because it’s the simplest model they offer. I had the misfortune to be born in the wrong century, thus any bit of technology is witchcraft, should be burned as such. I understand the use for military technology, and even embrace a good deal of it. But sniping is one of those things that should remain based on instinct, and ability. Carlos Hathcock had no computers to aid him. I’ll remain on the fence on this for now, and keep hitting digital things with an axe.
PS- if you don’t know who Carlos Hathcock is, Educate yourself.
