Remember this one?

John Travolta plays Michael the archangel, or or Michael the space alien depending on which scientology joke you go with. Two tabloid reporters are dispatched by Bob Hoskins to bring him from Iowa to Chicago. On the way, they deal with old ladies dying, Michael’s fetish for ‘world’s largest whatevers,’ bar fights, and learning how to love, or some such nonsense. That’s not important.

What is important is that at one point in the movie, Michael bangs the chick from Chasing Amy. She exits their motel room appearing to have had the night of her life, and no further thought is given. There’s another scientology joke in there somewhere.

But wait… haven’t we heard about angels banging human females before? From Hebrew folklore? Their unions begat giant offspring known as Nephilim. And according to a cursory google image search, they looked like this-

Suddenly, I want to see a sequel.

I wasted a good minute of my life messing with this. Quite frankly, I’m shocked I didn’t waste more.

Have fun. For a minute or more.

There aren’t many actors who can effectively pull off so many fight scenes that run full sprint toward the ludicrous. This video details the industry leader.

Warning: Not for weak stomachs

Also, thanks to my beautiful wife, I now own a set of those throwing knives.

Ever have one of these days? I have a lot of these days.

As many of us are aware, the Song of Ice and Fire series is a balls-out awesome set of books, which was recently made into an HBO series where the balls are equally out. Given the success of the stories in both mediums, the next obvious step is to express the awesomeness in… you guessed it. Snow flake form.

A good friend of mine, Rob St. Clair (seen here, rocking the fedora), got bored last night and made the houses of Westeros into the type of snow flakes we all used to hand cut in kindergarten. These are far more awesome though, because they’re cut with razor blades, instead of those yellow plastic safety scissors that couldn’t cut butter. See them below.

Lannister

Baratheon

Stark

…and Targaryen

Every once in a while, I run across a bit of nostalgia. Apparently, they’re making a whole book based on my misadventures of childhood.

This article from Cracked.com sums up my feelings on just about everything, in the form of early 20th century photographs.

Between Cane fighting, Auto polo, Supervillain glamor shots, and what can only be described as one truly heroic mustache, anything that concerns me is directly related to one of these examples that we tragically left in the past. Enjoy.
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Oh, wait. I forgot. It doesn’t cover child care.

There we go.

Yes, this is apparently an actual thing. For the paltry sum of $1.4 million, you can have your own mech. Check it out.

Sure, it’s got that whole “BBs and water bottles” weapon system, but that would take about an hour to correct. And the smile activated firing system is just supervillainous.

And here I thought Australians had to be hardcore. This looks easy.

…This is only a test. Had this been an actual post, it would be far more entertaining.